Found out tonight that another friend has filed for divorce. I am in complete shock. This is a couple that I have always compared my husband and myself to. Married many years, been through a lot but have always pulled through. They seemed so happy the last time I saw them. They have two children.

I have now come to a disturbing realization. All this reading and discussion about children of divorce up to this point has been about my generation. Our parents divorced when we were children. We grew up. The questions have been How are we now? How has it affected us? I’ve been pushing to find how I can learn from my generation’s experience in order to help children of divorce in the future. I don’t feel like I’ve learned enough yet, but I figured I had time. There are so few children in my circle of influence. I know there are many children out there who need help but it wasn’t real to me until tonight. Tonight it hit home. My generation are the parents now. Our children are the next generation of divorce victims.

As you progress through adulthood, first it seems everyone is getting married. Then it seems everyone is having children. Is this the next stage? Get married, have children, get divorced? Then what’s next? The second and third weddings? The new babies with the new spouses? I am not ready for this. It’s one thing to see your parents going through all of this but I was somehow in denial that perhaps our generation would follow in their footsteps. No, I am not ready for this. I am not ready to watch my friends go through painful divorces and I’m not ready to see their children hurting and confused and I am certainly not ready to attend second weddings. Maybe I’m going too far with this, but maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m just finally waking up to the depth of the effects divorce has had on all of our lives.

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