Is Remarriage A Step in the Right Direction?
by Ron L. Deal
Originally published by Single Parent Family magazine, December, 2000.

In this article, Deal recommends that single parents consider the following factors before making the decision to remarry.

  1. Don’t begin the journey unless you’ve done your homework, counted the cost, and are willing to persevere until you reach the ‘Promised Land’.
  2. Make sure you’re not still haunted by the ghost of marriage past.
  3. Realize that a parent’s relationship with their children will be an intimacy barrier to the new marriage.
  4. Understand that cooking a stepfamily takes time.
  5. Accept the fact that remarriage is a gain for the adults and a loss for the kids.
  6. Dating is important but true stepfamily relationships start with the wedding.
  7. Discuss and develop a plan for your parenting roles.
  8. Develop a working relationship with your ex-spouse.
  9. Loyalties, left unattended, will divide and conquer a stepfamily.
  10. Consider the potential for sexual pressures within the home.

Of course he expands on each of these, so I recommend reading the entire article if you have the time. I found it refreshing to find someone with a realistic perspective on stepfamilies. It’s never as easy as people want you to believe.